Put Your Big Girl Panties On Now

Now I’m not one to judge. I mean, yes I do judge, we all do, but I try my damnedest to not be a judgmental and insensitive bitch.  Your live is your life and you do what you have to do and so on and so forth and power to you. I get that. I mean my blog title is fucking ‘Perception Is Reality’ because it is! Your perception is your reality and whatever you’re going through is real to you and no one can judge you on that because they’re not, nor have they ever been and nor will they ever be you. What you feel is all you baby and it might be a lot or a little but if it’s real to you, it’s real. Case closed.

But this is my space and fuck, I’m just so hot right now.

I’m not rich, I have no sugar daddy, no deceased relative has left me a lump some of money that get’s my by on the day to day; so as you can so rightfully assume, I have to work for a living. I’ve worked since I was 14. I started at a church, working in the after care program helping take care of the children and cleaning up after them. I made 3.something$ an hour and I did that for about two almost three years. I went through a personal family issue and most of my time was spent in a court room and I wasn’t able to work. Once that was all settled my high school graduation has passed, I had moved into a new town and once again I started working. I was a hostess at a restaurant about 30 hours a week on top of going to school 40 hours a week. After 10 months of schooling, I graduated and got my barbering license and went to work full time as an assistant manager of a lingerie store where I worked almost 50 hours while I looked for a job at a salon, where I currently work now. Do I love working? Not always, but I love my job and even when I hate my job I still do it. I put my big girl panties on and do my fucking job.

Like I said, your perception is your reality and it can be hard to focus when bad things are happening, but I fully believe in separating your personal life from your career. Especially when you only work 20 hours a week, there is no need for you to take off three mother fucking weeks off of work to ‘deal with a personal issue’. No, just no.

When I was 14 years old and needed money and had to take two buses to get to a job that paid me almost nothing, I still went to work and did my damn job. When my scalp was bleeding from a chemical burn, I popped some heavy duty pain killed and did my damn job. When I had to put my dog down of 14 years, I still came to work and did my damn job. When my boyfriend of two years, whom I lived with, broke up with me over the phone, guess what? I still came to work and did my damn job. Aside from the year I wasn’t able to work due to being in a court room almost every few days, I’ve gotten my shit together and gone to work regardless.

To me work is an escape. Being that I keep my personal life and career separated  when I am at work I’m safe. Whatever is going on at home I know that in those hours I work, I don’t have to think about it, deal with it or stress over it. Work keeps my mind busy and more importantly it physically takes me away from whatever negative situation is going on at home. Out of sight, out of mind. I like that and I know that not everyone is like me. Not everyone can separate the two and enjoys working when something is bothering them.

I just… eugh. I work with this woman. She’s 24 going on 25 and recently has been calling out of work with very vague reasons as to why she can’t come in. Something with her family, okay, understandable. Well, understandable the first time you do it. Maybe even the second, but for over a month straight? Then, she just is a no call no show for not one but two days in a row. The end of a day three rolls around, still no word and so my manager goes to file a police report on her missing employee and BAM suddenly she’s back with this story about how she’s ‘been going through some stuff and kept it all locked up and had a mental breakdown but she’s fine now’. Fine, but still needs time off of work to get herself together. How much time off work? Three weeks. Three full weeks off of work. Bitch you only work 20hours a week to begin with, why the hell do you need three mother fucking weeks off to ‘gather yourself’ when you’re already fine and telling people you’re okay.

No. No. No. This is not okay. I’m just so fucking irritated that not only does she get off without a write up for being a no call no show two days in a row, but she gets her desired time off and our manager decides to just give everyone else extra hours to cover our upset coworkers much needed mental health month.

I mean, I can’t stress this enough, but I get that whatever she’s going through must be hard for her. My heart and thoughts go out to her and I hope she is okay. I can’t however get passed the fact that she acts this way, gets off scott fucking free, all the while refusing to tell us, her fellow coworkers, whats going on other than ‘it’s personal’ as she goes around telling other people that she’s fine. She’s 24 almost 25. I’m not even 21 yet and I wouldn’t dare pull that kind of shit with anyone ever no matter what was going on. If something is so serious that you need almost a month off of work, you can best be sure I’ll be telling you why my ass needs to stay home and take care of whatever it may be.

From what I hear though, she’s been spotted out shopping having a grand old time with her friends acting as if nothing in the world was wrong. I may have to work for a living, bu I damn sure hope that you have a sugar daddy or dead relative somewhere supporting your needed time off. Because if I remember correctly before you started having all these ‘issues’ you were complaining about not working enough and needing more money to pay all your bills.

Just…

Fuck.

-kristapher

Chivalry is Dead. So is Humanity

Since when did holding open a door for another person, saying words and phrases like ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘no ma’am/sir’ and ‘you’re welcome’, hell even making eye contact when having a conversation with someone just fall from the face of the planet? It baffles me how socially un-groomed society is today. That being said, I can’t sit here and talk about how things were ‘back in my day’ as I’m only at that wonderfully ripe age of 20 gong on 21, however, I feel it it more appropriate to say I’m 20 going on 45.

I was raised on a farm and brought up with good wholesome values. I truly understand the value of a dollar and how it feels to work hard and earn not only your money but whatever else you get in life. I was far from being born or even raised with a silver spoon in my mouth and even in my teenage years nothing was handed to me. As I said, I was raised on a farm. Up before sunrise, working hard to keep yourself afloat. Dessert was taken away if you weren’t just down right sugary sweet polite to everyone you crossed paths with and if we got the tv to work it was a good day.

It wasn’t always fun and it sure wasn’t easy, but I walked away with so much more respect for those older than me and those in a position above mine and so much more self-respect than I ever would have imagined.

I see kids, people my age and even people older than I am, who just don’t seem to get it. To me they’re nothing but rude, spoiled and un-grateful sad sacks who will surely have a hard time once reality decided to pay them a visit. Oh and a visit that will be. See, I work in a place where I see all types of people. From spoiled girls and boys who get upset when they don’t have cell phone service for a minute and roll their eyes when they’re parents don’t give them what they want when they want it, to older men and women who appreciate the small things we do and say. That being said, I do come across teenagers and such who are very respectful and the elderly who are just down right pains in my side, but that is a rare occasion.

I feel like, with all the advances in technology and the way we’re living now, people forget how to be, well people. Holding open a door, saying ‘thank you’, giving up your seat on a bus from someone struggling, whatever is may be isn’t socially required anymore. Conversations, special moments, simple things, they’re almost all done via phones/computers/tablets these days (not saying phones/computers/tablets are bad, because I adore mine to the moon and back). All I’m saying is I feel like it’s okay for people to get away without being sociable and it upsets me.

Where are the days when you would be excited to get the mail? The days where you actually wrote out a letter to someone or even called them on the phone to talk rather than just text? The days where you played outside till the street lights came on instead of going to the mall or sitting around watching tv or surfing the web? Where did home made family dinners go? Putting good test grades on the refrigerator door? The white picket fence?

I truly feel like some days I was just born into thee wrong time period. My boyfriend adores my ideals, I mean what man wouldn’t want a woman who cleans and cooks for him while working full time to support herself and ask for almost nothing but good quality time together and sexual favors in return. We just work so well together, he likes working on his cars all evening after work and I like watching him and having causal conversation with cool drinks. He likes sitting around in the kitchen telling me about his day or what interests him while I cook and clean and at the end of the day we like sitting in bed together to watch a movie or just snuggle before bed (sex thrown in there almost every hour or so, because we are like rabbits). And it’s not that we don’t enjoy the technological luxuries of today, and nothing about this post is saying I hate what technology has become. All I’m saying is we don’t rely on it to keep us happy and entertained.

Now that I look back, I’m not even sure this makes any kind of sense. It’s late, I’ve had a long day, someone is snoring and my sleep aide medication has been kicking in for the last hour or so, but I just felt like I couldn’t sleep without posting something to vent my frustrations.

Goodnight

-kristapher